One day

They said she shouldn't be happy when they saw her sparkling eyes and so they dragged her back to whatever was before. Before what? No one ever knows, but there's always a "before" and never an "after"..

Clasicul e destin. Ineditul e noroc. Împreună sunt viaţă.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Good morning

I thought you left back then and yet I saw your always dirty of feelings scarf through my barely opened eyes. I guessed you just got it off, sick of how much it smelled like me and our mornings together, how much it felt as my skin and yours next to each other. But you came next to me and I felt your body trembling. That's when I opened my eyes wider and wider, staring shocked at your fingers struggling to do something you always denied you could do.
The piercing sound of a torn scarf made me think of all the moments I asked you to give me a piece of you, a piece of that scarf you so much cherished. And now you gave the once very wanted pleasure and now so heart breaking moment.
"Good morning!" you kissed me lightly on my trembling lips and threw the half of the scarf that was supposed to be yours and kept mine.
"Good morning.."

Saturday, February 13, 2010


-Pe noptieră, zâmbi Ilinca, un zâmbet de care ţi-ar fi fost dor oricând, să simţi colţii ascuţiţi cum îţi sfâşie carnea şi partea aceea eternă, dar pe care nimeni nu o vede cu adevărat pe care ei au numit-o suflet. Aşa simţeai că trăieşti şi îţi era dor chiar şi atunci când te ataca şi îţi lăsa viaţa pustie. Aparent pustie.. Căci astfel învăţai să vrei mai mult, să mai vrei măcar încă odată, să-i mângâi colţii şi să le ceri să le pese, să te guste. Încă odată, hai încă puţin, le-ai fi zis de o mie de ori, dar erau atât de răi, că nu se mai arătau vreodată, decât să te rănească şi apoi să-ţi arate iar că nu le pasă. La infinit.
-Şi de ce ai lăsat pozele acolo?
-Ca să doară.
Aşa ne-am obişnuit, aşa e perfect, altfel n-am fi noi, altfel aş fi plecat de mult. Mă doare, dar tot te iubesc..

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Because I can always..

We were dancing round and round and round, in a dark room, watching the shadows around us. It seemed we were struggling in a neverending story but it probably was what I always deserved. I laid my head on his shoulder, humming the song we were dancing on as if it was our song, but we were both hearing it for the first time and yet it connected us in a strange way.
"May I?" He gazed at me and kept mine for the entire night and all I could think of were the past times and the present where he was without his girlfriend at a party where couples seemed to be everywhere. But not us.
"Uhm.." The words were unbearable, making my throat burn and scream for a sort of cure which was unavailable for me. Always unavailable..
He saw my eyes flicker to that guy more than just once that night and he did not want to admit the fact that I could have a life where he wasn't invited, to be admired by many others who might deserve me. He always claimed he wasn't the one for me, he didn't deserve me and yet why did he never let go?
"Go." he whispered, with choking voice and a light smile, smile which was erased soon after I took his hand.
"Okay" I accepted, unsure, stepping next to that boy I somehow liked and who always dragged me back to that go-and-leave story. My love was claimed by many and given to one, one who accepted it as it was his and only his to take and never gave anything back. Having a story that never happened, yet something odd to remember made us smile and live off those light, for others, memories, yet strong and perfect for us.
"Lovely song, isn't it?" His attitude made me want him so bad, that I always lost myself and showed my feelings but I had decided not to give up that night.
Of course. I thought. Lovely, as it always is, but never conclusions drawn, always leaving, never coming at the right moments, but when you wish. To smile was too odd for me, but I smiled and danced through many songs with the same boy, the boy who came back again..
"I.. think that.." but could not manage to say another word, because his lips were now locked to mine, a kiss I felt before, but never had feelings for. Tears started to flood my blue eyes, my heart decided to stop, my breath was taken away and life was drained out of me, without asking for permision. "Why?" All the unsaid words were now concentrated in that only question, every thought flowing trough my mind yelled silently, just because I felt those lips I haven't felt in a long long time. "You had a person to come back to, why me now?"
That might have been the biggest mistake I ever did because nothing could have hurt more than those somehow true words. It was easy for them and I have never done a thing to stop it. I should have never wanted to hear that answer. Asking for it I have let my own life escape my body, in a way no one ever did.
"Because I can always come back to your broken heart.." he said and froze me with a hug I am always feeling, burning my skin.